Old Uncle Crow

by Old Uncle Crow

Blow it out your ass! follows all of the same rules as the foregoing discussion of the construction up your hole!  The same distinctions apply also to the variant form:  blow it out of your ass! only excepting the necessary caveat that the latter is the intensive form. The only real distinction is that both forms are case specific in the way up yours & cet is not.  By this I am not referring to matters of grammar.  Rather, what I am telling you is that in the 1950s in rural Eagle Lake, MN, among male members of the so-called “Greatest Generation,” the phrase was used only antiphonally, and specifically in response to untimely (more…)

by Old Uncle Crow

I am mostly an ordinary American crow (corvus vulgaris), feeding on the contents of McDonalds wrappers.  NO investment bankers and other peabrains in suits come in THESE joints…the hogs just plain can’t afford to!  But the heifer who screwed up my last order there in greasy old Mankato, MN., WAS actually kind of a dang buffalo calf woman, if not just a wild young sow herself…. 
     The price for all the fine dining was $4.25, so I handed her (more…)

by Old Uncle Crow

NZ of Old Terre De Bleu City, MN, writes:
 
A woman went to her Terre De Bleu City Clinic doctor for advice.  She told him that her old buck husband had developed a penchant for “toobing,” and she was just not sure that it was such a good idea.  She hadn’t seen much on Tee Vee on Oprah about it and didn’t know (more…)

by Old Uncle Crow

A farmer went out one day and bought himself and he hauled home a trained brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young punk struts over to the old rooster, and he went:

“OK, you drooling old pre-Alzheimer prostate sonofabitch, time for you to retire!”
 
The old rooster went, “Balls of Christ, you young asshole, college degree my ass, sure as Hell you cannot rope and love wiener ALL of these hens!  Look what it has done to me…can’t you just let me have these here dozen or so young bitches over there in the corner?  Meanwhile I’ll let you do some real hot business with an old established firm and learn the ropes from off of those old battleships outside and get it just right, while I learn these young ‘uns up for you real good in here!”

The young rooster went, “Beat it, you old bastard, you are washed up and I am taking over the sex beat in THIS (more…)

by Benny R

AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, has saved lots of lives and many from drugs, too.  Nowadays of course there’s lots of 12-Step programs, including Narcotics Anonymous or NA, and so it goes.
     Including the relatively-recent so-called “Other” AA….
     So last night I let myself in my old farm house after my meeting at the Fifth Street AA Club in Terre de Bleu City here at home in Old Squawbunion County, in southern Minnesota, all ready for another late-night hate session online.  I was just getting the boiler fired up under my PC to start blogging away and telling off some MORE of these God-damned bullshipping politicians, when all in a panic I became aware (more…)

Grampas Nature Note’s:  Hummingbird Hitch Hiker’s!
 
7 May 2008

Howdy Every Body!
 
No, Grampa DID’NT fall this for one, he looked it up On Line all by his fool self (instead of not bothering “Mr. Bird Brain” on KORN-87.9 FM Radio about it neither!) and it is realiably reported that this here is a crock of…well, some thing that a guy like me from out (more…)

May 3rd

Doc, its me, Doc, I got your message but I am waiting on a call this evening and do’nt have any of That Old Call Waiting BS.  (If people dial HERE by God and ca’nt get through, they will just have (more…)

by Old Uncle Crow

A Father in Fort LeHillier, Old Mankato’s raffish quarter, who worked away from home all week bidding jobs for a local roofing company staffed mainly by unwed fathers and chronic police cases, and using his job as a cover for running the dope of the decade whether marijuana or cocaine or ecstasy, nonetheless always (more…)

by Old Uncle Crow

AN Old farmer East of Mankato, Frank Gitter, had a pond in his pasture which (more…)

by Old Uncle Crow

I just wish I’d written the stuff below FIRST — about some of these OTHER thieving political sonsofbitches!  These God-damned Clintons aren’t the ONLY dirty bastards…. (more…)